While there are a ton
of other YouTubers with feminist-slanted content, I just wanted to talk about the
two I have discovered this summer that have really caught my attention: Alexis
G. Zall and TheRoxetera. I’m sure there are more but if I got into every single
YouTuber that has “wow’d me in one way or another we would be here all day and
night.
First up is Alexis G.
Zall! I believe I came across her channel after watching her collaborate with
another YouTuber I watch. From my research, I was surprised to learn that she
is seventeen years old (and just by looking at her that doesn’t seem too
far-fetched). The reason I was surprised by her age, however, is that she doesn’t
speak like a typical seventeen-year-old. She has an extremely elevated way of
expressing herself that could make a fifth-year university student jealous.
Amidst her intelligent banters, I came across one video that I found both
refreshing and hilarious. Around Valentine’s Day when she was sixteen years
old, she created a satirical video essentially mocking societal expectations
placed on women when pursuing a relationship. Alexis makes her beliefs very
clear: relationships should not be at the center of every young woman’s
universe, men should not be in complete control of where a relationship should
go and if it should be pursued, and women don’t need men to do everything for
them when on a date (such as hold open doors and pay for the meal) as women are
more than capable of doing these things themselves and for their date as well.
It’s really refreshing
to see such opinionated, feminist approaches to dating coming from someone this
age! I worry a lot about what the future holds for young women…if I didn’t
receive the education I received, I would probably still have all of the sexist
and clichéd ideas about dating that were presented in this video. “Don’t ask
him out…wait for him to ask you…”, “chivalry isn’t dead...”, “you should
straighten your hair for your date!” (that last one was more of a personal one…I’ve
been told frequently throughout my life that my hair looks better straight,
even though that’s not my natural hair…and I should wear it like that more
often). It’s hard for me to remember how I thought or what I was like at
sixteen, but I can at least say that getting boys to like me was certainly a
priority.
Now at twenty-two years
old I realize that as “fun” as relationships can be, there are more important
things in life…
Like good food. And
family and friends. And soccer. And school. Especially food.
…I wish I could say that
was a joke, but if I could just be fed amazing food for the rest of my life I would
be perfectly content remaining single forever.
Anyway. I picked out some
of my favourite lines from the video. The first line especially hits home for
me:
“Who needs life
passions and career goals when you have movie dates and bouquets of red roses?”
“You want to be revealing,
yet classy, sassy yet…not too opinionated”
“If you’re not happy
with the way you look, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is what the boy
thinks of you! You should turn yourself into the perfect girl for that man”
“You need the guy to
ask you out. Do not, I repeat, do not
ever make the first move with a guy!
Because in case you forgot, this is the 1950s and making the first move could
result in the execution of yourself and your close family”
“Appear helpless and
meek! If he doesn’t open the door for you, just collapse into a puddle on the
ground due to the heavy burden now placed upon your shoulders!”
I wish all teenage
girls thought this way. The sad part is that I find that a lot of girls are in
fact aware of these issues, but they don’t actually do anything about it. They
want equality (or at least claim to) but at the same time expect for their
boyfriends to pick up the check at the end of every meal. Or maybe they might
feel obligated to be someone they’re not to impress a guy they really like…even
though they know deep down that they shouldn’t. Young women need to be more
aware of these contradictions in their ideas about dating and relationships. I
think it would be really interesting to do some sort of survey of teenage girls
to find out how they think about dating traditions and relationship roles.
There are probably many out there who don’t see any issue in these dating
traditions at all…and there are also probably many (like Alexis) who would
surprise me with how well-informed they are.
So many questions…but
only so much time! Can I just quit school now and do research forever?
What’s that? I need an
education for anyone to take me seriously?
Well alright then. I
guess I’ll have to wait a little longer.
Now on to TheRoxetera!
I actually have no idea
how I stumbled upon this YouTube channel. TheRoxetera features a
twenty-five-year-old bisexual woman named Rosie who often features her wife
Rose in her videos as well. While her bio states that she does videos about
makeup and hair, I haven’t actually come across any of these! The videos I’ve
watched from this channel (and her wife’s channel) have been discussions about
feminist issues, especially those surrounding the queer community.
The video I’ve chosen
to discuss here is called “Scissor Shaming”:
In this video, Rosie
and her girlfriend Rose talk about lesbians telling other lesbians how they
should have sex. I thought this video was interesting because it shows how even
within otherwise oppressed groups like the gay community, hierarchies are
assigned and there is still a lot of judgment and criticism regarding sex: in
this case, how it should be performed! You would think that of all people,
lesbians (who are at least doubly oppressed since they are gay and women) would
be sensitive towards different lifestyle choices. This, however, is evidently
not true. Just as the title of the video suggests, Rose and Rosie discuss how
there are some lesbians who claim that “scissoring” is not a “real” part of
lesbian sex and that “real” lesbians do not scissor. According to these women,
“scissoring” was something contrived for movies and television, but is not
realistic in actual lesbian relationships. I really liked how Rosie and Rose
deconstruct this position by pointing out how ridiculous it would be if
heterosexuals went around asserting how “real” straight people have sex. Their
discussion reminded me a lot of the article I read in GEOG 3P74 about the
discrimination that was occurring among the trans community at “The Pussy Palace”
in Toronto. Many of the women at the event were arguing against male-to-female
individuals being allowed to participate for pretty much the same reason Rosie
and Rose are talking about: they’re not “real” women.
Even though she goes on
a bit of an impassioned tangent here, the message Rosie delivers in the
following quotation is powerful:
“Some people have such
struggles coming out of the closet, coming out to their parents, people get
kicked out of home, people get bullied, people get beaten up, you know people
are afraid to come out, people live double lives, people don’t get jobs, people
get their teeth pulled out in Russia for being lesbian. And then we have this
community where we’re meant to support each other and be like, ‘you know what?
Be yourself. It’s okay to be you.’ And we spread messages saying it’s okay,
come out, be proud. If anyone doesn’t like you, fuck ‘em. And then we say, ‘don’t
scissor. You’re not a real member of this community. Get out.’ What the fuck?”
I honestly couldn’t
have said it better myself. “What the fuck?” is right. Of all places and spaces
a geographer could study, there is little dispute that the bedroom should be the ultimate space for
freedom. The bedroom is where we go to be alone, to be ourselves, to free our
bodies and minds from the confines of an oppressive society. And when we bring
partners into these rooms, or we choose to share this room with a partner, this
feeling of freedom should continue. Societal pressures should not be allowed to
enter.
I apologize for the
inappropriateness of the following statement, but it needs to be said: If you
want to scissor, if you want to doggy, if you want to reverse-cowgirl…that’s
all up to YOU and your partner. Two’s company and three’s a crowd (that “three”
being society). Unless of course you’re polyamorous…
In that case. Carry on!
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